Being a dog owner in Boston is a treat. Whether enjoying information and community from DogBoston or a dog cookie from the Boston Dog, it’s fun and easy to pack a pooch here. But along with the fun, comes responsibilities and not everyone loves dogs as much as we do. So, just how good a dog owner are you? The following questionnaire might give you some insight:

You brush your dog’s teeth once a
a. Day
b. Week
c. Millennium

You walk your dog on a
a. Leash
b. Long piece of string
c. Telepathic plane

You bathe your dog when your
a. Car smells doggy
b. House smells doggy
c. Neighborhood smells doggy

You clean up after your dog
a. Always
b. When someone is looking
c. When the EPA sites you for having an illegal landfill

When your dog is gassy in the middle of your dinner party, you
a. Quickly light the candles for “ambiance”
b. Sternly order your dog from the room
c. Secretively point to the person to your left and mouth “woo-eee”

Your dog comes home with orange fur in his mouth right around the time your next door neighbor’s cat (who is often in your backyard) is missing. You:

a. Bury the fur and rehearse your alibi – Fido was inside with YOU all evening
b. Apologize to Mrs. Murphy and never let Fido outdoors again
c. Trade your dog in for a cat

When your neighbors in the South End complain that your dog’s barking can be heard all the way to the North Shore, you:

a. Invest in Dog Training for Dummies and have lots of fun practicing “shhh”
b. Tell them to invest in soundproof windows
c. Trade your dog in for a Basenji

Your black suit is covered in white fur again. You
a. Decide to trade in basic black for winter white
b. Carry lint brushes with you everywhere and even use them on your dog
c. Trade your dog in for a Mexican Hairless

When your pound of chocolate box is suddenly empty and wrappers are strewn in a path to Fido’s bed, you
a. Follow the plan you have neatly typed out and hanging on the fridge for such emergencies
b. Panic and call your mother
c. Punish Fido – those were your favorite kind of truffles
When your dog gets a little too intimate with the Chow on the Boston Common, you
a. Say “Those rascals” and walk both of you with dignity to the car
b. Say “That’s amore” and look on
c. Don’t notice because you’re on your cell phone

If you answered “a” to most of these, you can pat yourself on the back – you live in a very strange, dog-centric world but try to be considerate of others. If you answered mostly “b”, this is probably your first dog and, with time, you’ll come around. If you answered “c”, you should own a ferret. Owning a dog means more than just picking up after them (and some dog owners even fail at that). For, as we all know, there are no bad dogs, just bad owners.